today sucks. I'm still confused over the whirlwind of the past few days. My emotions were tugged tired, to the edge, and i felt like i had no choice in my actions. I felt like I was suffocating as I was faced with the reality of my only option...I lost a best friend. How did it happen? Like many things in the Universe, Love has simple mechanisms, but very complex interactions. I could write a book on it. In fact, in the amount of time I've spent in disorder from this dissonant situation, and never really getting anywhere with it, I could have made a lot of awesome stuff to help the world.
So I tried to distract myself with recording some VJing. I have a big gig tomorrow night so I planned on recording a live set tonight and playing back the render tomorrow night when i want to take a break. My computer crashed 30 minutes into recording a live set, rendering the whole thing unsaved. This happens a lot when i'm trying to record. I think it is bugs in the Arkaos event recorder. Pretty frustrating, which makes me wish i simply had a way to record my output to a DVD recorder or a camcorder. Good thing I have so much money. Ha. Money. Very funny.
I think today is just crapped, and I shouldn't try to do anything lest I want to get myself killed.
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